Here are some tips for you to give effective feedback on one's writing:
1. Use composition guidelines.
--Thesis Statement/Topic sentence
--Supporting Ideas
--Organization
--Content
--mechanic skill: Grammar, Spelling & Punctuation
--Rhetoric
2. Point out the positive and negative aspects of the work.
--Do not forget to give reasons
--Give examples if possible
e.g. Your tone is perfect or your points are clear and easy to skim because ....
3. Focus on small parts which help your readers find the information faster.
e.g. Can you think of a title that tells what's in it for the reader?
4. Ask questions because questions can help the writer and you think.
e.g. Do you have specific data that might convince readers?
5. State your arguments or debate.
--State what you think no matter whether you disagree or agree with your peers.
e.g. Although your viewpoints sound workable, we still cannot make 100 percent sure. For example, ....
Other references:
http://www.mwp.hawaii.edu/resources/wm7.htm
http://www.ehow.com/how_2154461_give-feedback-writing-workshop.html
Assignment: Discuss and Give peer-feedback.
Group 1 --> Group 2
Group 2--> Group 3
Group 3--> Group 4
Group 4--> Group 1
40 則留言:
I am Iris. I make comment 貓貓 (Eva)article. Her essay is very cleaner to expression. She is talk about series of Narnia .Its very funny books.
I think her essay is a little brief. She can write more about series of Narnia will better. Look after her essay introduce about series of Narnia. It’s made me to read series of Narnia.
I comment Winny’s book. I think this book is very cute, and make me funny. But you have a problem that your sentence can’t each period spatial line. And you also have a problem. Like this sentence,” The picture is simple and the story take no offence at a child's babble.” you should change into “The picture is simple and the story takes no offence at a child's babble. “. But I very like this book feeling.
我是黃孝賢 我看的人是１１號劉力文同學The story is simple. No talk too many details. The story is short. The writer was poor. I hope your creations will be good in the future. Your writer is wrong. The Microsoft Word said. Your glossary is too few. Finally, I will read your creations. I hope your creations will be better.
This is reply to Jane
I am Alin
I think we should do something that we enjoy to do. There are some people fights with their disease. They never give up easily. Like our classmate Tomeric he wants to learn more things in school so he always holds on himself. Even he can’t come to school he will ask his mother to come to class and write the note. There are many accidents in our life. We can’t project it. Just follow our first dream even the dream is very funny. Just do it because funny dream have achieve value. If you do it the dream won’t be funny every one will think you are very successful, and you won’t leave any sorrow.
I am 10639葉瑞瑜, I reply the essay from Alin.
Alin says the book is talk about religion and love. It’s a serious question in our life and it’s very important, too. It’s very hard to choose one the best. I think the book is very philosophy for me, too. And I agree Alin’s think, I will follow my dream and do my best, too.
This is a reply for 暐涵.
You are talking about very popular story, Horry potter.
I think it is a novel story. That is filled with imaginative power.
But I don’t know how about your feeling.
I think that you should write more about your own ideas.
Because the book is very interesting and where let you want to write it.
I’m Susan.
After I read a essay from 小p. I feel sad too. She said people bad. They do something wrong to baby. Like the Doctor, he lie to his wife because their babies have some problem. But he does not know that his babies are not real dead. A nurse took them away. And growing happily. 小p wrote the story good. But somewhere I can not got it. Because she wrote grammar wrong. I am 10627 Michelle
I make comment Michelle’s article. Her article is the same with me. But her contests are a little different from me. I have no feelings to write that, but Michelle doesn’t. She has a grandma, and her grandma bring her a lot of feelings. I can understand what Michelle feels. I think she really loves her grandma a lot.
I don’t know what are you talking about. You say you didn’t read any novel but you say you can introduce Harry Potter .It’s very strange. And you say you want to introduce Harry Potter but you only introduce the writer J.K Rowling .And your grammar is very poor. Like “I like she that was determined” I can’t understand what you mean. May be you want to say is “I like her because she told us never give up your dream, and maybe one day your dream will come true.” I think all the problem is your grammar, your sentence I think is okay.
You should improve your grammar first, then you can start to write a article.
10603 ed分析Peter的文章
I'm Lina.
I comment on Amy's article.
1. champion. & too. (pay attention to the symbol)
2. Your number of words are haven’t 100 words.
I think you that you want to succeed. You also want to learn successful way of this story.
You should to have own goal.
And you must to through process of study hard.
And then I can believe you can be successful.
I will call you “You are a champion.”
I am Momo, I comment Ed’s inspiration from J.K Rowling. I feel ED writes clearly about J.K Rowling. It lets me know her background. But, he didn’t tell us what he learned by this writer. In my opinion, I think that you can say something you learning from the writer. For example, I feel the writer can teach me how to be in the problems.
Using the happy heart is the good way for many people who are in the troubles. It lets your inspiration abundant.
73610 read about 73611
I think his introduce is not bad. But I think he can be a good writer. But now he should more practice for his written. I am poor about English now.
Because I am lazy, I should learn more English at school. My level can’t read
His written, first, I should more read and learn more word now.
I am Freddy. The essay I read is write by Peter. His short essay has some mistake. First, the grammar is very bad, how could a sentence without noun or verb? Otherwise, the destruction of the sentence is quit wired also. It seems that the logic of the writer has some question, because he often says something not very completely. Second, the mean ideal of this essay confuse me a lot. It says he could introduce the book “Harry Potter”. However, in next paragraph he introduce us how to success and who is J.K Rowling. The difference between this two ideal is really confuse me. The only thing I can appreciate is the spelling. There is less problem of spelling. As a result, I hope Peter who wrote this paragraph can make his grammar become batter, and his writing will be very good.
I read Lucy's writing.
I am Ivy.
I think this feedback was great, because Lucy explain this article was very detail. I think Lucy is well aware of this story. I have seen this novel. This novel makes me sad, but sometimes I feel funny. Every novel has a lot of story in there. Everybody like many novels that have a lot of funny things, so am I.
I'm 睏寶 I comment Alice's article. After I read her article, I think the novel she read is very special.
I think her article didn't write clear enough. For example, she didn't tell us that the doctor how he helped the girl, but the summary she wrote is very clear to read. We can know the meaning from the novel. She also had a few wrong spelling. I think that is her careless, so she didn’t check it. Anyway, her article is not bad!
I’m Lisa.
I feedback an essay to Susan.
I think she writes very well.
Because she writes main points not detail.She helps readers know this book faster.But it still has a little defect. She can talk more final.She can talk more about why she likes this book. For example, she can write the way to successful need willpower. It’s the real reason to this book.
I am Jessica Wang. I discussed Jackie’s essay. Her essay is not long, but it is very clearly. I hope she can write a lot of detail that I will understand a lot. I never see the story, but I can think it. I think the boy is never give up, too.That is because he keeps himself when he was young. That is not easy thing. People cannot stand other evil eyes, but the little boy can. The grammar is a little mistake. I used the ‘Microsoft Word’ to check it.
I am Eva.I comment Ye Ruei-Yu’s article. She didn’t write author so I don’t know the author. Her article is easy and accurate so I can easy know the book that talking about. But she can’t write more examples; she should give an example to how to use reason. For example the reason I can use on the work. I hope she can write batter.
I’m Claire I feedback Annie’s article. She doesn’t says, “why the author successful and why the author is famous.” But she have says something about this book and share with her impressions. I think this book is says, “Life is important for everyone don’t close own life easily.” If you are to live have many things can do.
I’m Jane, and I’m going to give the feedback to Momo’s article. First, what is the sentence” Imperceptibly, the universe can help you change your problems.” mean? You are really confused me. Second, you said” We need to learn about “DO”, not learning about “WORRY.”, please talk more about the detail of this book; like what does the boy do to seek his dream? Or I don’t know what the worry means is.
This is an article that introduces one of an author. I think that Claire’s article is quite in detail, because she had introduced the author very clearly. But if there’s more thought of her own, will be more better. If you want to succeed, you have to work hard, and point our own goal.
After reading the article about Pride & Prejudice from Jessica Wang, I never read this book but I can get some notion. Although the author’s life is not bed of roses, she never gives up! Finally her books get well-known and echoes. About this example, it can touch someone’s heart!
I want to know what happened between them. What things Cavatica helped Wilbur and Why Wilbur possibly dead? Although I have some questions, I think they had very good friendship between them. You are right. It let us feel the friendship is very important. Your article is very clear to me.
I’m reading Irene’s article.
I think Beethoven is a great classical musician, too. Beethoven’s childhood didn’t happy. But he never gives up. He was written the music which many enjoy great popularity. I hope you can as him resist any difficulties and become a successful person. I wish you can try your best.
Sherry was introduce a famous writer in USA .The book name is “The Report Card”.
I am Amy. And I have some advice to Sherry .Most of all, she introduce very clear and easy. She have some little problems. I really can’t understand. Why she do that for her friend? I am happy that you introduce for me.
Hi! My name is Vicky. I seem to read the writer about Orange’ book. But I not sure the writer is the same. Is she a Chinese writer? I like read the novel written by the Orange. I think your article’ grammar is good. I am agree your concept. But the story introduce is less.
After I read Tako’s essay, I feet it is good. Because the process is in detail, and the statement is clear. But it have some shortcomings, you have to give some example, like why his grandma can teach he even we are poor but still can live happily.
I have known about this book a little bit. I think it is not a humorous story. I think it is a romantic story. But she did point out the main summary. And I agree with her thoughts--we can't judge a person just on her/his looks, we must be with them for a long time to see through their heart.
feedback by jackie (jessica's article)
Ivy 王文 提到...
I want to introduce “The Elephant Man”. This book was written by Tim Vicary.
This book was my teacher made me to read. This book was very special. I think writer has a lot of think.
He is not beautiful. His mother does not want him. People laugh at him, and call him ‘The Elephant Man’.
Then someone speaks to him and listens to him! At the age of 27, Joseph Merrick finds a friend for the first time in his life.
This is a true and tragic story. It is also a famous film.
I feel this ‘Elephant Man’ was very pitiful. This novel feels me sad, because this eccentric person is very ugly.
Alice's commentary：
It is easy to lat me know the story. I feel it is like a movie “Elephant boy and machine girl” what we look at just term begins. Your introduction lets me have the very big feeling.
I want to introduce “Tuesdays with Morrie” .This book’s author is
Mitch Albom. He has written some famous book, like “the five people you
Meet in heaven” and “for one more day”. Although I read them one half, I
Felt them were moved deeply.
The book “Tuesdays with Morrie” is talking about life’s meaning. The
Author met his former teacher, but his teacher was very sick and will be dead
He decided to teach the author about life’s meaning.
The book is very successful, because it is real and very touching. The
Book let me know I must made a serious to treat my life and never give up.
小柯
I think “I Felt them were moved deeply.” this sentence’s verb didn’t be capitalization. You have many sentences’ verb didn’t be capitalization. You need sentence link next sentence. Then I hope you can write more, you introduced the book’s contents but your thoughts too less. I think you can introduce this book, too. And “because” this word if you put on sentence’s medium don’t need comma and also “but”, too.
I am yu sheng Chou.This is a reply for 廷源.I think his writer very good. Because his content writers him why like. And of interesting in the story. Although only a few words. But he wrote a content about story. And looking content feeling good. So I think it is good.
I’m Claire I feedback Annie’s article. She doesn’t says, “why the author successful and why the author is famous.” But she have says something about this book clear and share with her impressions. I think this book is says, “Life is important for everyone don’t close own life easily.” If you are live have many things can do for your own like. And her Organization is good.
I am Winny. I make comment Kelly.
When I read this article, I feel very confused. I don’t know what she wants to talk about. Maybe I should read more books and learn more vocabularies. After I asked her to tell me about her story, I understand that. I agree to her. If the wrier write too much, the reader will be bored.
I finish reading Anna’s article. I think it great, because I learn I can change something in my life if I want to succeed. This article has few mistakes. Like this “stays hear or go out to look for new cream cheese?” should be changed “stays here or go out to look for new cream cheese?” Finally, it makes me want to read this book.
I am Annie. I reply the essay from Winny.
The book of content is good. She interdicts “The Missing Piece” of detail are minute
She can use some of example and the example will make it wonderful. For example, you can talk about what the interesting thing is.
The one piece is harmful because some of people in order to get the one piece and they will kill many people. And I think the one piece will take many war.
Chris, if you need the word record, please tell me, because I think it is too disordered to read.
This is Susan’s writing.
I wand to introduce the book “Don’t Eat Marshmallow---Yet”.
This book was written by Joachim de Posada and Ellen Singer.
I read the book when I was a junior high school student.
When I first time saw the book, I didn’t understand that what’s the title mean? After I finished the book, I understood What the book talking about. It’s talk about “The detention leads a life of comfort”. There is the experiment of Stanfor College.
they let some children stay in the room along and give them one marshmallow. Let them chose eating the marshmallow now or waiting for 15 minute. If they eat the marshmallow 15 minute later, they will get more one marshmallow. The research discover that some children could wait for 15 minute all successful then some children ate the marshmallow on the moment. I very agree this theory. I like this book very much. It taught me a lot of things. If I want to succeed, I have to extended plan.
I can’t covet at present benefit.
This is a feedback about Susan’s essay.
First, I revise the grammars and some words of her essay.
1. I wand to introduce the book “Don’t Eat Marshmallow---Yet”.
> I want to introduce the book called “Don’t Eat Marshmallow---Yet”.
2. When I first time saw the book, I didn’t understand that what’s the title mean?
> When I saw the book for the first time, I did not understand what the title means.
3. After I finished the book, I understood What the book talking about.
> After I finished reading the book, I understood what the book talking about eventually.
4. It’s talk about “The detention leads a life of comfort”.
> It talks about that “the detention leads life to comfort“.
5. they let some children stay in the room along and give them one marshmallow.
> The book mentions that they let some children stay in the same room together and give a marshmallow to each one.
6. Let them chose eating the marshmallow now or waiting for 15 minute.
> And then, they want them to choose whether they eat the marshmallow now or wait for about 15 minute.
7. If they eat the marshmallow 15 minute later, they will get more one
marshmallow.
> If they don’t eat their own marshmallow and 15 minutes later, they will get a new one.
8. The research discover that some children could wait for 15 minute all successful then some children ate the marshmallow on the moment.
> With the research, it’s discovered that some children are successful to get a new marshmallow, but the others eat theirs at once.
9. I very agree this theory.
> I can’t agree with this theory more.
10. If I want to succeed, I have to extended plan. I can’t covet at present benefit.
> If you want to succeed, you can’t covet the benefits at present. You must think about the future early.
There is my viewpoint below:
I think although Susan writes the example, but it is not enough to know what the book talk about. Does the whole book tell that to us only? She may introduce the book more specifically. Also, I think the experiment mentioned is not really true. Maybe the children who eat the marshmallows at once are very hungry or they don’t care about getting a new one at all. And you can’t completely believe the
Information you receive. You have to think carefully by yourself. Certainly, I don’t direct against it. Finally, I want to revise her “after you finish your writing, please check it again, and you will be better and better.”
by JD.
After I read Vicky’s composition I am so confused, because there is problem on grammar and superfluous sentences. For example, it is wrong to write that He had written a best-selling book, because he wrote it on past. Then, there are two sentences is superfluous. For example, you wrote that I want to introduce Joachim de Posada and Ellen Singer’s book…, but you wrote on fifth line again. I know it was sent by classmate’s parents from seconded line, But you wrote again on next sentence. They make me feel strange!
Eva 提到...
I am Eva.I comment Ye Ruei-Yu’s article. She didn’t write author so I don’t know the author. Her article is easy and accurate so I can easy know the book that talking about. But she can’t write more examples; she should give an example to how to use reason. For example the reason I can use on the work. I hope she can write batter.
I reply to 宜蓁. Her novel is talk about two girls.
This novel is so pitiful. I feel so sad about leading character.
The story is so complete but I don’t know this book ending.
You have a mistake. One word ‘ricks’ is wrong. The word is not has s.
I think this book is good. It can make me and you not only value everybody but also treasure time.
I am Clark. I reply to 73606. Your grammar needs to work hard much. Inside a sentence may not have two verbs. I hoped that can know more related Harry Potter the content. You only tell me the concerned author. But I like your word. It is easy to know. Remember, next time when you introduce that a book tell me more content and your move.
張貼留言